When You Want To “Break Up” With Your Church

girl for church articleI’m going to be completely honest with you guys. I am not content in the church I am at, and I haven’t been for years. But I am still there, still doing the same things. Serving in child ministry, pretending to be happy, smiling at everyone around me. Too bad they don’t know the struggle it is to keep that smile on my face. I have been afraid to write this for many months because of the people who might be reading it. But God has put it on my heart to say this and I can’t keep it in anymore. I have talked to SO many people who are going through the same thing as I am right now. I feel like church’s all over the globe are separating and being attacked by the enemy. It’s because right now we are vulnerable, with all the things that are happening in the world we are all discussing our thoughts and beliefs. When someone in your church doesn’t believe the same as you do politically, spiritually, or physically you think “There is no way I can be a part of church who has people who think like this!” And you’re gone before anyone even knew that conversation took place. The enemy is attacking church’s…HARD. And honestly, we the people haven’t really done anything about it, besides add on to the problem.
So I guess that’s a reason I haven’t left my home church yet. I didn’t want to just leave because I wasn’t happy. I wanted a GOOD reason not to stay. And even if there were a few minor problems I would still stay. It would have to be something BIG to make me leave. Is that the right choice? I would ask myself this question over and over again. Because every time I would say this another issue for ME would appear. And soon…I was done. I was leaving and there was nobody that was going to change my mind. I had recently been going to another church’s Bible study and I was having the time of my life! I had never been happier! I was dead set on going there…until today. The message on Sunday was great, people where nice, so what had set me off?? It was during communion when I realized it. You may have noticed I said when another issue for ME, and this was another one of those issues. I wasn’t going to take it. Don’t get me wrong I am a saved Christian and strong follower of Jesus Christ. There was ABSOULOUTLEY no reason for me NOT to take the communion. You see I just didn’t want to take the communion, the reason being because THAT church was giving it. If it was ANY other church I would have taken it. Not from them though. How ridiculous is that!? I wouldn’t take the grape juice and bread from my own church!
After that I started thinking. Why am I so angry at my church? Is it because I’m serving too much in child ministry? I’m in there almost every week. Is it something in the leadership? Has someone done something to affect me recently? I settled on all three reasons. I was working too much in my child ministry because my church’s leadership wasn’t handling it well enough and they had wronged me because of it. There were other reasons as well I am not going to share on here, but pretty much resolve around the same thing. If you look at all of these pathetic reasons you will see that none of them are from God, but every time I walk into my church they hit me. This means that they can be from no one other the Satan himself. I used to LOVE being in child ministry, I would WANT to be in there every week. Me working in there so much has nothing to do with the leadership, but with people’s lives and busy schedules! So they have not “wronged” me because of this. I am the problem. Yes are there a few things that need to be fixed, probably but no church is perfect and the people inside of them can’t expect them to be perfect! Because we ourselves are nothing close to it. Most of the things I hate about my church are things I need to get over. Things I need to resist when the enemy try’s to trick me and play with my emotions. So this is the plan, for YOU and I. If you are going through the same thing…

1. Have someone pray for you right before you go.
This has helped me in so many ways. Prayer is a powerful weapon and can REALLY help you when you are going through something that you cannot fix on your own. It is a direct line to God. (Phil. 4:13 I can do all things through him who strengthens me.) And when the enemy is involved we almost ALWAYS cannot do it by ourselves.

2. Look at the things you are doing

Are you serving God? Pouring into somebody else? Encouraging others? Anything that pleases God is something you should be doing, and if you are having unpleasant thoughts about them then it’s time to look at your heart. Is the enemy in your head feeding you lies? It’s good to know when he is. (John 10:10 the thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.)

3. Ask questions
If the leadership is doing something you don’t agree with, then ask questions. There may be a very good reason they had to do that, and you would never have known if you hadn’t of asked. (Matt. 21:22 And all things you ask in prayer, believing, you will receive.)

4. Talk to God about it
This one goes along with praying. If you do not talk to God about your situation you may never know why he has you in it, or why the things that are happening are happening. God is smart don’t take him for granted (Romans 8:26 Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groaning’s too deep for words.)

5. Serve God.
The last one on our list is to either continue to serve or to start. If your church is having problems they will need all the help can get! If you are having problems serving can make you realize the things that you are missing. (Matt. 20:28 Even as the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.”)

If you do all these things for a series of time, and you still feel like God is prompting you to leave your church, then it may be time. But I ask that you at least try. So many people just leave when things are starting to get hard in anything! Relationships, church’s, jobs. Don’t be that person. Try to work it out and I will do the same. You are not alone in this! Like I always say email me if you just want to talk or hang out maybe we could skype and eat ice cream;p Love you guys!

-Kylie

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